The Ensley® Foundation
The Ensley® Foundation began inauspiciously as the Tru-Grip Inflatable Woman Factory in 1992, but wavered due to inflation. Even with the unqualified success of Suzy Suckliptm, Borrelia Fleshpottm, and the incredible "Chateau of Her No-No Belowtm," profits were flaccid. Until of course all of those reports of cheap motel spontaneous combustions, wherein profits blew up altogether. When Wham-O! turned down the stuff because they thought it was too silly (if you can imagine that), bankruptcy ensued before everyone else sued, too.
And the rest, as they say, was history...
Ocypete ("Peter") Harper, an environmental lackadaise, bought the company for literally lira on the dollar, because pennies on the dollar would still have not been a good deal. Innovation through creative research and development has proven Ensley® to be the miracle substance that it is. It's many uses are now legendary.
Now the richest man in the world, but ranked officially as the 852nd richest just behind Michael C. McGuire and just in front of Charles E. Ruello, he hides his wealth for personal reasons. Mr. Harper has through shrewd philanthropic gestures secured the cooperation of several industries in including his products in theirs. Many who have everything to gain with the success of Ensley® have feared that the Justice Dept. will go after him as soon as they're finished with Bill Gates.
Mr. Harper has done much to improve the world with his Ensley® Foundation. Most notable is his reduction of terrorism in the world. He has single-handedly bought off countless terrorists by giving them a condo in Orlando and a company car. "Let's face it," one anonymous terrorist (whose name rhymes with Schmadaffi) recently stated, "an air-conditioned babe-trap pad, set of free wheels, and a six-figure pension in a make-believe leisure living paradise sure beats the tents, the sand up your drawers, and the absolutely NO FUN that's been life as we know it for a couple of thousand years. Oh, and no camels--ahh...to sniff the air and smell...no camels..."