Social Promotion High School
Hey, being threatened, like, by that
teacher with the, like, foreign accent? Do you really have to, like,
take it? Don't you have the right to the pursuit of happiness, like?
Let's, like, think about it, shall
we?
You, like, really need
the stuff you learn in grammar school. Counting, adding, reading,
writing, like, stuff like that.
And if you're going to amount to
anything, you really need, like, the stuff you're going to learn in college,
right?
But all that stuff in between, like,
is worthless. Really! The Battle of Hastangs? The Diet
of Worms? (Like who'd eat worms anyway!) I can tell you not only
did I go to high school--I even did well. And I don't remember any
of that crap.
"When I look back on all
the crap I learned in high school,
It's a wonder I can think at
all." --Paul Simon
Well, then...
We're the school for you.
Easier than a GED, for sure. Just check out our schedule:
8:00 AM Sleeping in.
9:00 AM General high school studies, usually
supervised by a sub.
(Recommended text book: High School for Dummies.
All tests are open book...or closed book...it really doesn't matter.)
10:00 AM PE
This week: Target practice. But it's just practice,
so relax.
11:00 AM Coffee Break with the teachers in the smoking
lounge.
12:00 Noon Lunch or early dismissal, whichever comes first.
1:00 PM
Innuendo and Rumor (elective), alternating with Nine Inch Nails
studies (required).
2:00 PM Conference at the student pub.
3:00 PM Free time (3:00 PM till...)
Homework: Are you kidding? No homework. Homework's
for, like, losers.
|
Meet our faculty:
Currently we have no faculty. But this hasn't always been true,
so, like, O.K., right?
Back to the Dead Nixon Mall
Back to DiLingo homepage