The risks of having ^ex with someone born under a red sun--a medical exposé.

---

Since the cataclysmic explosion of Krypton 180,000 years ago, there have occasionally been some individuals popping up from time to time here on Earth.  A partial list includes the name, Kal-El (who we think is a dweeb going by the name of Kent), Krypto, Supergirl, and others we're not quite sure of.  The peculiar thing about these people is that since they were born under the influence of a red sun, they have come to us with powers beyond that of mortal men, basking in invulnerability under our yellow sun.

Of course, it would be the same if one of us were to go to a planet revolving around a blue sun.

• the gall bladder of steel--he can eat anything!
• The bladder of steel--he can get on I-5 in rush hour traffic with two six-packs, wolf 'em all down, and never sweat the bumper to bumper gridlock that puts the next bathroom a couple of hours away.
• The pubic hair of steel--convenient for scouring those pots that sat overnight--of course, you could just imagine the gander Lois has of him in the morning, gyrating his bare hips against pottery and cutlery ("Clark, what's going on?")
• The sphincter of steel--don't even ask.
• The sperm of steel--Forget Lois's shock the next morning--she'll never live to tell the tale.  The sperm of steel, the ejaculation of steel--poor Lois!  Depending on her angle of reclining during such a tryst, the ballistics boys would have a field day trying to figure out what happened.

Condoms won't work, unless it's made of material originating from Krypton.  (Perhaps you've noticed Superman's cape gets shorter and shorter each issue.)
 
 

Official Warning of the general surgeon Surgeon General of Sango Jingo: If you want to have sex with someone from Krypton, you must go to the city of Kandor in Superman's Fortress of Solitude.  That's the only way.  Of course he (she) won't be super anymore, so don't expect any marathons.

Back to Editorials
Back to DiLingo Homepage